say

can you come back to me?
i'm waiting right here for you to come back.
there's a lot of things i want to say.

It makes me sick.

"Running Fast Makes Me Sick" 

I'm not even trying to be cute when I say that.

It really does make me sick.

To : My Grandma

my dear and loving grandma
your ageless heart
as you move through time ,layer on layer,
tender sequoia

-remake from 'Tuesdays With Morrie'

Thank You

Thank you for believing in me
when i found it difficult
to believe in myself....
for saying what i've needed
to hear sometimes,
instead of what i've wanted
to hear....
for siding with me....
and for giving me
another side to consider.
thank you for opening
yourself up to me....
for trusting me with your thoughts
and disappointments and dreams....
for knowing you can depend on me
and for asking my help
when you've needed it.

thank you for putting so much
thought and care and imagination
into our friendship....
for sharing so many nice times
and making so many
special memories with me.

thank you for always being honest with me
being kind to me.... being there for me.

thank you for being a friend to me
in so many meaningful ways.

errrmmm,......

i don't know what tomorrow's got for me,
but today we met the best while.

A Drinking Song

Wine comes in at the mouth
and love comes in at the eye;
that's all we know for truth
before we grow ond and die.
i lift the glass to my mouth,
i look at you and sigh.

(1864-1939) W.B

EMPTY

Greatest Love Poem #12

I love you,
not only for what you are,
but for what i am
when i am with you.

I love you,
not only for what
you have made of yourself,
but for what
you have making of me.

I love you,
for that part of me
that you bring out;
I love you
for putting your hand
into my heaped-up heart
and passing over
all the foolish, weak things
that you can't help
dimly seeing there,
and for drawing out
into the light
all the beautiful belongings
that no one else has looked
quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
are helping to make
of the lumber of my life
not a tavern
but a temple;
out of the works
of my every day
not a reproach
but a song.

I love you
because you have done
more than any creed
could have done
to make me good
and more than any fate
could have done
to make me happy.

You have done it
without a touch,
without a word,
without a sign.
you have done it
by being yourself.
perhaps that is what
being a friend means,
after all.

-ROY CROFT-

Huh

i am sick
i feel like crap
my nose is leaking
just want to nap

my sight is blurry
my throat is hurts
read medicine labels
for caution alert

been drinking juices
and blowing my nose
my body scream aches
from head to my toes

won't go to doctor
will just stay in bed
while gibberish poem
dance in my head

just watching tv
screening old movies
will old characters help
and simply behoove me

i'm seeking ideas
my head in a cloud
quiet shy ladies
or men who are loud

the story lines blur
as i fall fast asleep
thought are all jumbled
some goofy some deep

i wake up and ponder
what time is it now
juice and more vitamins
give false hope somehow

i hate being sick
my mind doesn't work
i wish i was healthy
my normal self quirk.

there must be something i can do

'there must be something i can do'
i'm lying on my bed
staring at the wall
i don't feel like going out
i don't feel like staying in
'there must be something i can do'
i'm lying on my bed
that mark on the celing looks like a dog
i don't feel like talking
i don't feel like being quiet
'there must be something i can do'
i'm lying on my bed
my thoughts keeping me company
i don't feel like thinking
i don't feel like sleeping
'there must be something I can do'
i'm lying on my bed
i'm bored

i will wait

Come to me,
Cause I’m sitting here waiting for you.
Tell me what to do
I don’t know what you mean
By “I’ll wait to hear you sing”
I’m sitting here waiting
For the phone to ring
Anything
As long as its you
That’s all I want
And that’s all I can do

The Power of Friend

There's lots of things
With which I'm blessed,
My problems have been few,
But of all, this one's the best:
To have a friend like you.

In times of trouble
Friends will say,
"Just ask, I'll help you through it."
But you don't wait for me to ask,
You just get up and do it!

And I can think
of nothing more
That I could wisely do,
Than know a friend,
And be a friend,
And have a friend like you.

PIECES

My life in pieces

Lies are being told Secrects are being kept in
My thoughts are changing My heart is caving in
These lies are leading be astray Its almost to much to stay
I dont want to live this destiny
My pain keeps tormenting me
These memories are all coming back to me
Those thoughts are tempting me
My heart is breaking very slowly
My soul is confuse
I dont understand anymore
My existance is unnecessary
I think its time for me to take my leave
To finally hop in the backseat
And go to sleep till I reach home
Maybe this nightmare will finally end
When I wake up Maybe things will be better then

FIGHT!

A feeling of hopelessness,
lingers through the air.
A feeling I know all to well,
wallowing in my despair.
A certain uncertainty,
which I count on without a doubt.
No one really knows,
or evencares what I'm talking about.
Wanting life as it should be,
yet still living it as it is.
A life once full of promise,
hasnow been reduced to this.
Thoughts of crossing lines,
from which there's no return.
At war with self-respect,will
it ever be rightfully earned?
Fighting for my freedom,
from a some what tainted past.
Seemingly there's no escaping,
yesterdays firmly held grasp.

Poem to remember

Always Remember Poem
Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.

Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But don't forget to remember
Those that have stuck by you.

Always remember to forget
The troubles that have passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.

My Friend, You Are Not Alone

I cannot ease your aching heart,
Nor take your pain away;
But let me stay and take your hand
And walk with you today.

I'll listen when you need to talk,
I'll wipe away your tears;
I'll share your worries when they come,
I'll help you face your fears.

I'm here and I will stand by you,
On each hill you have to climb;
So take my hand, let's face the world...
And live just one day at a time.

You're not alone, for I'm still here,
I'll go that extra mile;
And when your grief is easier,
I'll help you learn to smile!

sometimes

it's cold, so cold
quite and still
i feel so alone
sadness has come to visit me

there's a storm in my heart
and my mind can't see the sun
happiness is fleeting
where has it all gone

my head is cloudy and heavy
tears running down my chin
ready for relief but the sorrow doesn't end

feeling empty and full
at the same time
so much i can't express
wish i could scream my disstress

i'm trying i really am
to hold it all together
just waiting and hoping
can't stay here and forever

don't leave me alone
not this long
i need your touch and kindness
to know i belong

hearing you voice comforts me
makes me feel that you do care
maybe you're feeling alone too
but i'm right here in front of you

we give, we receive
but balance has to come
not just me searching for you
and you have come and gone

the despair will grow smaller
the light will come eventually
but now it's just self pity

lonely

will remember?

Am I disappearing?
Am I being forgotten?
It seems that way.
I disappear behind my friends' personalities.
And people forget who I am.
They remember my friends
because I was the one who brought them there
but they don't remember me.
I am forgotten once again.
Can't they see it causes me pain?
Why must it be the one thing that I treasureis also the thing I am worst at?
Being noticed.
I slip behind the eyes of others
because they don't care to see.
I think they don't know the real me.
All they see is someone quiet
then poof!
There gone from their memories forever.
I want to be remembered,
will you remember me?

Note

A Note from Heaven

If I could write from heaven,
this is what I'd say,
Please don't miss me too much,
I'm with you throughout your day.
You may not see or hear me,
but if your quiet and still,
You may just feel my presence;
because, in Heaven, there is free will.
Don't worry for the day,
it will come and go as planned,
Enjoy each moment you are given,
keep worry from your hand.
Keep sorrow to a minimum;
For in Heaven if you could see,
You'd know I'm safe and happy,
I did not cease to be.
Moments in time are brief,
until we'll be together again,
as Eternity lasts forever,
our lives, they have no end.

no one

I'm gonna die
no one thinks its sad
no one will cry
every one will be glad

i'm gonna die
no one will miss me
no one will mind
every one will cheer with glee
to finally get rid of me

i'm gonna die
every one hates me
so i sigh
i want to die

Depressed

Stop Breathing

Tears of fear streaming
Words of sorrow screaming
Emotions live on killing
What’s the point in believing?
Life has no meaning
Dreams are only teasing
I can’t take all the deceiving
I want to stop breathing
There’s no point in living
I start crying
I try praying
Again, nobody’s listening
Now I’m straying
I turn and start running
Now I’m looking
For a way out of thinking
Please stop me from breathing
I’m no longer believing
I’m remembering
How no one was listening
Tears of fear and sorrow streaming
Emotions screaming
Words and thought killing
What’s the point in believing?
I want to stop breathing

Understanding of Love

Love is love,
No more
No less

Love is frail
Yet it is strong
Never fails

Love is gentle
So secure
That we can surrender

Love is complete
Everyone is in need
There is no need to compete

Love is not blind
It is balanced
Without crossing the line

Love is kind
It is meant to bind
It is mine...

Back

looking..

looking back on my life, and wondering if there's anything i would change
would i change anything at all or would it remain the same
i think we've all done things we regret
some we will never forget
i think we all could've done better if we tried
i know we all told little white lies
i wish i would have spent more time with the ones i love
some are now gone and are now in heaven with the one above
it's things like that, that put you back on track
because now you realize you can't have that back
as i look back i feel so bad
i should've treasured and took advantage of the time we had
i feel so alone and cold
sometimes i feel as if i might explode
i hate feeling this way inside
it makes me just wanna drop to my knees and cry
as i write this and fighting back the tears
treat everyone right and hold them near
so looking back on my life is there anything i would change
well i can tell you things wouldn't be the same

Lonely

what is life without a friend
it's a highway with no end
what's a child without a smile
come and listen for a while

what is faith without believe
or a maple with no leaves
a treasure island you can't find
a great picture when you're blind

why are we never statisfied
doin' all
doin' all the things we do
why are we standing in the rain
can't you see
it is all for you and me

what's a house without a roof
and a good friend with no truth
what's a mother with no child
or a father with no time

what is priest who's feeling lies
what's a guardian with no eyes
what is a man without a view
take an oath wich in untrue

why are we never statisfied
doin' all
doin' all the things we do
why are we talking all this pain
can't you see
it is all for you and me

look at all those lonely people
i still wonder where they go
look at all those fancy people
they all seems to really know
something, we don't know

Stand Alone

i stand alone...
i stand alone in the darkness of night
i look around and there's no one in sight
i tilt my head and look up to the sky
i ask myself a question " who am i ? "
i get these feeling and these thoughts and they tear
me up inside
i run and run but there seems to be nowhere to hide
i run to the woods and hide behind a tree
i hope there's no one around who can see
the pains is so intense it's tearing me up inside
i drop to my knees and begin to cry
i raise my head and try to pray
but my mouth can't find the words my heart wants to say
give me the strength to make it through the night
because the lord knows i'm too tired to fight
if you read this try to understand
it doesn't matter to if your a woman or a man
everyone has problems and everyone has pain
everyone hurts just the same

remembered

a poem trying to understand why my Grandma died. Very deep and was hard to write.

i remember you
everyday i sit and wonder why
the reason why you had to die
i wish you would have come to me
i know it happened but i still find it hard to
believe
i think about you night and day
there are so many things i want to say
we had our goodtimes and we had bad
when i think about them it makes me sad
it also brings a smile to my face
when i think about those happy days
you were always there when i needed you
for each other there wasn't anything we wouldn't do
when i needed you, you were there
the happy times that we shared
i love you my grandma
and i can say one was always there for the
other
although sometimes we had our problems our
love would never part
i just want you to know your always in my mind and
heart
for my loving grandma who i will always love
who is now in heaven with God above

i miss him very much...

In memorial..

Grandma, N.P.
(14 august 1921 - 20 march 2009)

Grandma,
It is so hard to live the world without you...
your smile, your laugh, your courage, and your spirit will always
inspired us...
those we cherish will always live on in memories...
our prayer will always be with you...
for we believe that you are in heaven...
thank you for the love that we have shared together...

I Could

I could write you a letter,
But what would it say?
Could it make things better?
Would it make everything okay?

I could write you a song,
Full of love hope and grace.
Would you tell me what went wrong?
Could you say it to my face?

I could make a telephone call,
And listen as you cried
But i would not let you fall,
And if you did, we'd both know i tried.

I could make the world go away,
But would that be what you like?
You would miss the golden sunrays
You would miss the moonlight.

I could stop all this pain,
Bring it all to an end,
The tears would fall like rain,
On the shoulder of a dear friend.

Do not Stand

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there.
I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that swiftly blow.
I am the diamond glint
on newly fallen snow.
I am the sunlight
on ripened grain.
I am the soft and gentle autumn rain

When you wake from sleep in the early morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft, starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there.
I do not sleep.

Dear God

DEAR GOD,
I AM THANKFUL TO YOU FOR:
YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE YOU HAVE SHOWN ME
YOUR GREAT MERCY YOU HAVE GIVEN ME
YOUR LOVING COMFORT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME
YOUR UNDYING FORGIVENESS YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME YOUR GIFT OF
YOUR ONLY SON SO THAT I CAN COME TO YOU
YOUR MANY MIRACLES YOU HAVE GIVEN ME
YOUR TRUE WORDS THAT HELP COMFORT, GUIDE AND GIVE ME STRENGTH THROUGH MY LIFE YOUR TEACHINGS THAT TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE, FORGIVE, AND LIVE
YOUR GIFT OF PEACE YOU HAVE GIVEN MY SPIRIT
YOUR BLESSING OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS
AMEN.

Love On The Internet

though i wasn't looking for anyone new,
one day i got e-mail and in it was you.
charming, sensitive, and so debbonair,
i strongly resisted it go anywhere.

but letters and stories captured my heart,
filled me with passion almost from the start.
love on the internet, how could it be?
these things just don't happen to people like me.

but doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
carrying messages we could not deny.
each person has meaning and love to express,
and we could deny our hearts nothing less.

it's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
something beyond any words we discuss.
much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

my love's not confined by what it can see,
i feel you, i taste you, i experience your dream.
close my eyes, and i envision what in my heart i can hear,
"love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

it's the soul that captures God's love in a way
that eternally melts hearts together to stay.
fused and sealed forever as one,
love has it's way and new life is begun.

sad

my friend die yesterday.
verry sad.
i just want to say, "Rest In Peace. We'll never forget you. deepest sympathy to his family and friends."

...

a note of nature
a bird and a song
listen so closely,
it may be gone
a sound so softly
heard in the din
the subtetly of nature
about to begin
in urban urgency
sprewn with debris
a bird and a note
playing for me

headache pain

today i have a headache,
not because i am bad
or evil person,
not becausse i hate my family,
not because i am angry
not because i am perfectionist,
and not because
screwed up,
i have headache because
my body has this disorder.